Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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