My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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