im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
