You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
