he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
