I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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