do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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