This is not my ceiling
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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