I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
