What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
