plz talk dirty to me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
