If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
