I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
