I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
