we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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