i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
