you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
