my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize