I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
