I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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