you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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