Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
