Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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