what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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