you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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