Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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