So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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