There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize