Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize