omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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