i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Michael Bay diarrhea
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize