I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you made out with another girl for some wings
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
