"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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