i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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