1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
