...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
