Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
