it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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