clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I forget how to act sober
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
