all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He better not be in your backpack
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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