she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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