So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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