Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
