I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
