Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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