WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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