Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
