Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
