my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
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Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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