i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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