he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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