I heard we made out
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
