Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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