I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
