you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
