This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
