EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
