who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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