I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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