weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I see more hoeing in ur future
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