omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
