So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
