THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
