i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i think im in europe. pls send help
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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