i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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